But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
