So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
