okay pat passed out under dana's car
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
