if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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