I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
