so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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