I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Im part way to drunk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think my moral compass just broke
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
