There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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