ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
