from now on my penis is your penis
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
