He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
