I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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