I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
