this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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