id be glad to
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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