i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
