NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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