Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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