were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
are you so shy because you have an std?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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