Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
