Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
