im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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