I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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