just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
