He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
