They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
