well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
