Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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