Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
