Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
