A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
