Im at strip club and am horny
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
