True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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