dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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