If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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