drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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