we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
