3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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