Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
