went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
