Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
