Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
God I need to hump something, right now.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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