Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
