Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
