i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
