im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
