Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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