four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Sober January is a disaster.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
