i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
