Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
