The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
