And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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